


The Newsletter

by Random_Inked_Thoughts



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Dean/Cas if you squint, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Newsletter, lots of people are mentioned briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:58:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Inked_Thoughts/pseuds/Random_Inked_Thoughts
Summary: "What, does he have a freaking newsletter or something?" -Dean WinchesterYes. Yes he does.





	The Newsletter

**Author's Note:**

> As soon as I heard Dean say that line I knew I had to write something about it.

Sam was typing furiously at his computer. His brow was furrowed, and he was hunched so far over that one might be concerned for his future posture. Suddenly, with one last, final tap, a tad louder than need be, he sat away from his computer, exhausted in the way that one might after a long speech, or a math counts competition. He looked his piece over for mistakes one last time before queuing up his email. 

 

~•~•~•~•

 

Subject: January 24th

 

Welcome back, hunters, huntresses, and friends of the family. Our schedule was packed this month, so I apologize for any inconvenience that may have caused you, and I hope this letter reaches you all safely, no matter where you are. As always, stay safe, and contact me if you have any information you need to relay. 

 

**The Bunker:** Me, Castiel, Jack, and many others all have been either residing in or passed through the bunker this past month. There was a small incident involving enhanced werewolves and vampires*, however the bunker is in perfect condition as of now, and will always be a safe haven if you need to rest up or bring other hunters back to patch them up. Remember to contact me privately if you need access and don’t know how to get in, and join our group remind by texting @Bunk3rHunt3rs to 18018. 

 

*See Dean Winchester’s paragraph. 

 

**Hunters in Training:** The hunters in training have recently been released to deal with recent small monster threats and other minor demons across the semi-near US. If any of you see them, please offer them a place to stay the night. The code word this month is  _ Impala.  _ Hunters yourselves, please remember that you still need to check in every other day with either me or Cas, if you can’t reach my cell. 

 

**That Vampire Thing out in Nebraska:** An elderly couple was found in their homes, with all signs pointing to it being a vampire attack. We were contacted by other hunters usually residing in that area, who are caught up dealing with what they think to be a ghoul out in Omaha. If you want to take the job, contact our separate remind by texting @I’m0nit to 18018.

 

**Jack Kline:** Jack has recently undergone a serious medical procedure to deal with his fainting and dying. Fortunately, he now has a magic in place that will keep him alive, using only a sliver of his soul. Unfortunately, he has the ability to now use his nephilim powers again, at the cost of more of his soul. If you see this happen again, please contact me or Castiel. We are concerned as to how this will affect him in the future, but will keep you posted, as always. 

 

**Nick:** Nick is still gone, looking for something we aren’t quite sure about. If you see him out there, please let us know, as well as offer him the same courtesy you would offer one of our hunters. That is all at this time. 

 

**Dean Winchester:** Dean Winchester was recently possessed by Michael, as you all know. He then seemingly completely abandoned Dean out of nowhere, leaving Dean to come quickly back to us. We began plotting a way to kill Michael, however, as we were about to land a hit on Michael in his second vessel, he took back Dean’s body. From there, we had to physically trap Michael and enter his head, where we helped Dean lock him inside of a broom closet inside of his own mind. Apparently, that’s supposed to hold an archangel in. If you see Dean, I recommend approaching him with caution and sympathy, but not too obviously. He’ll get offended if you show pity. Just remember, this is affecting him in ways that we can’t even begin to understand. 

 

**Castiel:** Cas still hasn’t gotten his head out of his ass and confessed to Dean. No more at this time. 

 

**Mary and Bobby:** As you all know, Mary Winchester and Bobby Singer are still on vacation. Please give them the courtesy of space to themselves. We thank you for your understanding. 

 

**Demon in California:** We’ve gotten some kind of report about a cult in California worshiping a demon. For reasons we don’t understand, this is making the demon more powerful, and the hunters there have requested backup. Proceed with caution, keep in mind that the cult may be witches. If you want to take the job, get more info by texting @I’veg0tit to our other remind, also at 18018.  _ This job is not open to hunters with fewer than three years experience.  _

 

**Groceries and Chores for the Bunker:** As you all know, common residents in the bunker recently have set up a chore wheel. This includes, but is not limited to, sweeping, doing dishes, getting groceries, vacuuming, organizing the vaults and libraries, and dealing with the cat litter and food for that cat that Cas and Jack picked up about a month ago. (Dean can’t know about that last one.) We are in need of a new, modified chore wheel, as it has come to my attention that several chores are not getting done in a timely fashion. If someone would be willing to make a new one, be sure to contact the remind by texting @Bunk3rCh0r3s to 18018, not only to alert us that you will make a new wheel, but also to get down all the names of common bunker residents*. Also, for some reason, our fridges have been stocked with nothing but whiskey, off brand Rice Krispies, and bacon. I’m sorry, but this cannot continue. We need to find someone who will collect healthy, nourishing groceries. 

 

*If you stay over three or more nights a week you are considered a common resident and need to register for said chore wheel. 

 

**Guns and Ammo:** As you all know, anyone who stops by the bunker can go and sign out a gun from our generic weapons room, as long as they return it within a month or two. We’re fairly flexible about that. A measured amount of ammo is set aside with each gun, so as to conserve our supply. However, in recent months, we have been slowly losing ammo. We need someone to grab more at the next outing, just whenever you can. It’s not urgent, I just feel we should just get ahead of this before it gets out of control.  

 

Here is a list of hunters with rented guns and the dates they’re due back*:

 

Hannah- 2/6

Dan- 2/8

Samantha- 2/11

Daniel- 2/19

Seth- 2/23

Phil- 2/27

 

*Gun renewal is an option, just please check the red box next to your name, or contact someone at the bunker to do it for you. 

 

**Jody:** You should still feel free to stop by Jody’s, unless any new developments occur. Please also remember that she is taking care of underage huntresses and their house dynamic should be respected. Thank you.

 

**Hunter of the month:** Ruby Pine- Congratulations, Ruby! Your dedication in aiding that family captured by djinn really showed us your commitment and drive to push yourself harder than ever before. Keep up the great work!

 

All in all, we’ve had what I see to be as a great month, guys. We’ve managed to save so many different lives, and I’m proud of every single one of you. As always, shoot me a message if you realize anything that I’ve forgotten. Please also be sure to check in on our generic remind (@GoHuntM3) if you need any information at any time, and I’ll see you all again with another month!

 

-Sam

 

~•~•~•~•

 

All around the US, inboxes dinged as emails were sent, and the network network smiled a little as they clicked to open their monthly newsletter. 

 

Jody smiled as she, Claire, Patience, and Alex crowded around her open computer, scanning the letter. Donna sat in her cop car, tapping open the email on her phone as police radio whirred in the background. Mary sat in her log cabin with the computer open in front of her, sipping a bit of beer from a nearby can. Other hunters, both new and old, family friend and people they'd run into on the side alike all read through the message. Everyone that Sam cared about was connected, and everyone felt all the safer for it. 

**Author's Note:**

> These reminds are (unfortunately) not real. :(
> 
> If you don't know what remind is, it's basically an easy way for people to set up and contact large groups.


End file.
